Posted in anxiety

I can’t deal with stress anymore..

Hola (take ten) Amigos!

Into the double figures, can you believe it! Thank you for all your support! And yes guess who’s back…even though they said they wouldn’t post for a fortnight. But as I found myself in a chilled evening after revision with a delicious brownie in a mug, why shouldn’t I take this time to blog?

Exams have always been a massive stress for me, so now my GCSE’s are sooner than ever it’s automatically a time where I have high stress levels, this is even worsened by the fact I feel like I don’t know anything I’ve learnt. As I’ve wanted to leave school since the day I started but kept fighting on and attending for 13 years, I’d feel that was a whole waste if I didn’t achieve about C grades. Don’t get me wrong, I think if someone tells me they have a C in a subject that it’s amazing and they’ve clearly worked incredibly hard..but not matter what thats not good enough for me? I will never feel like I’ve achieved until I’ve had maximum results on each exam..which of course is never going to happen and is pretty much impossible for even the smartest of students. If after 13 years of stress I come out with grades I am not happy with, I can only imagine how gutted I will be, which is pathetic because all C’s..that is good.

These mocks are something that stress me out, not because of the situation of being in silence doing an exam with 300 other students while trying to make the crappy desk you’ve got given not wobble and desperately trying not to disturb everyone else while also sniffing your nose because you’re too embarrassed to ask the examiners for a tissue and heaven for bid you should bring one in incase you have all the answers scribbled on the back.

But…

because they make me feel so thick when I get the results back and they always seem awful to me, this is due to the fact that not only are they purposely made harder but as soon as I get into an exam..I freak. Every teacher says how capable I am in lessons, that I’ll be working at easily an A grade, but I get into the exam and I quite simply freeze and that’s the way it always has been, and probably the way it always will be…so why the hell have I chose to do A levels????!!!

Hope everyones okay and as always feel free to email me – absbh101@gmail.com –

Thankyou!

Abigail J

x x x

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Posted in anxiety

Quick update..

Hola (take nine) Amigos!

Just a quick one as I know no one expected me back after I clearly stated I would be taking a break for mocks..but I thought as I had a spare few hours, I’d update you on how it went. I had my history mock today on a topic that I was unsure of, and considering the circumstances I think I did really well!

English and Maths tomorrow though which adds up to four hours in the exam hall and another two of those boring ‘please write in black ink’ speeches, but hey ho life goes on!

Again, feel free to email me whenever, I’m able to reply to selective emails rather than type a whole blog.

Sorry for the short one!

Thankyou.

Abigail J

x x x

Posted in anxiety

Exams, Exams and Exams (plus revision!)..

Hola (take eight) Amigos!

I’ve received lovely comments from my latest post so thank you to all, it really does make the stress and effort seem worth while when you lovely lot get back to me and leave me such amazing messages.

Again, with revision I will struggle to post especially with two weeks of mocks coming up, so this blog will be put to the back of my mind for a fortnight before I come back and tell you how it’s all gone.

How was everyones half term? Hope it was as fab as can be!

I always used to hate the Sunday after having time of school because I’d be struggling way more than just with those normal Sunday blues, but considering I’m going back to a busy two weeks on mocks, I actually feel fine, this is a massive achievement for me, as not long ago I’d cry myself to sleep in the stress of just attending school. One thing that has helped me massively is a change in my friendship group, I now feel safe and know I can tell them things if it came to it, aswell as always knowing it will be a laugh. I guess my boyfriends helped me a lot too, even if he doesn’t know it. Anxieties are still relatively low but I’m sure they’ll quickly go sky high when I line up ready for my mocks, I’m sure these two weeks will fly by though and I hope to come out with all B grades or above, as I know I’m capable of that but have to fight my anxiety to leave me alone for an hour or so and just focus on the exam.

I hope everyone’s as good as can be, and even if I don’t post for a couple of weeks I’m only an email away and will reply to them as soon as possible so feel free to email me as always – absbh101@gmail.com.

Thanks again.

Abigail J

 x x x

Posted in Allergies, anxiety

Super late ‘V’ day chat..

Hola (take seven) Amigos!

First of all, I am so sorry about the delay in a new blog post, with GCSE’s and mocks coming up aswell as staying social it is hard to keep posting so please bare with me, in July when they’re all over and done I hope to be back on top of it.

Although it’s ridiculously late to talk about Valentines day and we’re all fed up of the lovey dovey crap that comes with it, this post will focus on the difference of valentines day with allergies and anxiety as an extra burden, that we all wish would come and go in seasons aswell.

Whether you spent it with a partner, family, friends or just yourself in your bedroom with good ol’ netflix, I really hope it was a good’un! Personally, I spent it with my boyfriend and with that does come the normal fluster of being embarrassed infront of the guy you love and anxiety with allergies and my autism is extra high, although it has considerably lowered over time.

This was a fairly new experience for me, and I did stress extra high just about what presents to get and all the usual things but with a higher impact on me. And then comes the choice of what do we do on the day itself..with the usual answer of..

“Let’s go out for a meal!”

Seems great doesn’t it..well, to any normal person, that doesn’t have to put their upmost trust in the caterer and the servers and the waitress and the chef..with allergies it’s not just as simple as enjoying a nice meal out. I’ve had so many bad experiences in the past with meals and believe it or not they help so much more abroad, where I have experienced the chefs cleaning out the whole oven for me in order to make me acceptable chips for my diet, of which I fell asleep in the long wait at a young age and my parents after eating their own meal had to force countless chips down their throats and into their already extremely full stomach. When in the pub at the bottom of our road, not even a mile away, after clearly asking and discussing my allergies and concerns we ordered Gammon and chips, only for my dish to be served with a massive egg sat on top, staring evily at me. So maybe after all those single years moaning about the fatty snacks and netflix dates with my duvet, it turned out to be the most easiest one for me.

However, I was able to convince my boyfriend that perhaps just going to the cinema and going back to his would be the best possible idea, because after all I can trust his family with cooking, right? Another thing for those with allergies, far more easily said than done. A roast beef dinner doesn’t have any dairy or egg in when you initially think does it? but I bet you don’t think about the hidden ingredients, ones you do without even second guessing normally..ones that could perhaps see me ending up my valentines day in hospital..because those who don’t have someone with allergies, unless you’re physically cracking the egg onto the plate, or pouring me a glass with milk in it, there’s no allergens right? But what about the egg in the yorkshire puddings? Or the butter in the mashed potato? or the milk that could be in gravy? Without even thinking of cross-contamination.  So after checking and reading every ingredients of every food in my boyfriends cupboard, I finally felt safe enough to eat there, taking it slowly and doing the normal, regular, secret checks of if I’m feeling normal and 100% myself.

The anxiety of being sat on a table with my boyfriend, his twin sisters and both his parents seemed to seek a new level of high though. What would we talk about? What if they don’t like me? What if I start choking on a piece of meat? What if they start demanding things on me and I panic? All, stupid, stupid, stupid thoughts but ones that I truly panicked about inside. I mean choking on a piece of meat..I haven’t done that since I was 5. But none of those worries happened..I know right? Surprise, Surprise! But not only did it not happen, it was a highly enjoyable night, of which we all chatted and I even played a board game with his whole family for about two hours and they were all impressed with how many points I got..and I even won some prize of..Pringles. Not very exciting but the only prize they had that didn’t include chocolate.

The whole Valentines day experience was a proper special one this year, although I had high anxiety at some times for certain but silly reasons, it turned out to be one of the best days, getting to know and bonding with his family more.

But wherever you had your Valentines day and whoever you had it with, I hope it was the best one yet!

To fit with the scene, as always I’m sending you all my love! And again as always feel free to email me if this blog leaves you with questions or even if there’s something else on your mind – absbh101@gmail.com – Again, sorry for the late delay, I’m trying to shuffle revision and socialising and blogging and sometimes it gets a little too much for a week and I guess my priority is passing my exams just now!

Thankyou!

Abigail J

x x x

 

Posted in Autsim

What’s right for a teenager with PDA?

Hola (take six) Amigos!

I hope you’re all doing well and again a massive thank you to anyone who’s sent me any emails or even just liked/viewed my posts, it really does mean the world and I hope somewhat of this is helping every single one of you.

After getting so many replies on my PDA post I feel like it’s only right to do another one and go into a bit more detail. I’m going to post a few things on my childhood and if any parents/carers are reading this, I hope it helps you in some way.

With PDA there’s always been split views on schooling, is it right to send your child to a place which is there definition of hell? Or is it possibly going to help them in the future? As an autistic child that had her mum stay with her in school throughout nursery where I spent the majority of my time sat under the tables or following other ‘friends’ around and just listening to what they said but never replying due to that being too much of an anxiety push for me, I would definitely say to try and keep your child in school. Although I can’t remember a time when I enjoyed school I have always been in a ‘normal’ school, even a ‘special’ one would be a great help to your child to try and keep them as independent as possible. I can only imagine how it must feel to a parent that’s practically dragging their child in the school gates and how everything within you is telling you to just take them home. But..I also know what it’s like to be that child. I remember so vividly being sat on my mums lap every morning begging her ‘if I have today off, I promise I’ll go into school tomorrow Mummy, I promise’ but no matter how much I cried, I would always be taken in. I never realised until talking about it now with Mum how much that broke her heart and she has since told me that she used to come home and cry because of how bad she felt. But, speaking from a point of view thats remembers the total fear of going into school every morning and being sick with anxiety, I am so glad I was pushed.

To some this seems so drastically unfair and maybe even pathetic. After all, why make your child go to her/his version of hell when you can simply homeschool them and keep them wrapped up in your version of bubblewrap keeping them from this outside world that they despise. But..unfortunately they’re going to have to face it someday and elongating that process is making it so much harder for them. Yes, I used to hate school and fear it, every sunday night making me feel so much worse than the ‘weekend blues’ that most people suffer with, I’d cry myself to sleep in such dread of having to go to that place for an unimaginable time of 6 hours everyday for 5 whole days.

But now? I’m in year 11 of a ‘normal’ school about to sit my GCSE’s having already sat some and my parents never thought they’d see this day, my Mum seriously thought about putting me into a ‘special’ school but instead they kept on pushing me, and with my target grades, I hope to get into sixth form. Unfortunately, this is never enough to make me feel proud of myself because as I’ve said before although I can remember the vivid terror of reception days when I was just 5, I can’t remember a day when I felt proud of myself, not even when I got an A* in German, not even when I got an A* in catering, and not even when I got my A in science. To me, being proud of myself is something I don’t remember feeling for the life of me. But to make my family proud of the results I’m coming out with, makes me feel a type of warm inside that you cannot imagine.

But I know the majority of parents reading this are thinking ‘there’s no way my child can achieve that, she\he physically can’t step inside of the school gates’ and to that I have one, and only one reply. They can. And you have to push them. It will break your heart but you need to do it for them and yourself.

I can imagine this topic will bring up a lot of debates and different opinions and I would love to hear them all so please email me (absbh101@gmail.com)

Again, thank you for everything!

Abigail J

x x x

Posted in Allergies

Allergy coursework..

Hola (take five) Amigos!

After just checking my views I’m well happy to say that my blog has 284 views in just four days, this is a massive deal to me as I never expected it to kick off this quick so thank you to you all and again thanks for the emails I’ve received. Helping you is what I want to do so when I achieve that it makes me eager to carry on with this blog.

I got my coursework marked recently and got 39/40 which is an A*, which of course I’m thrilled about..although I wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m proud of myself because I can’t remember what feeling proud of myself feels like and I don’t know if I ever will. However, I wanted to share this coursework piece with you, because our aim was to rant, now trust me, or as you’ve probably seen from the last few blogs, that I am one hell of a good ranter, who given the chance could rant about anything, but something I’m most passion about is allergies, so here I rant about them. I hope you can give it a quick read and let me know what you think/if you relate because as always I’d appreciate any feedback through the comments or email (absbh101@gmail.com) Thankyou again for your support throughout these past few days, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again but its amazing me, so bless you all.

Allergies

Allergies. A word known by billions, but understood by only thousands. A simple, innocent word, but  strong enough to kill…

Everyones heard of the word but only so few know what it actually means. Allergies affect up to 10 million people in Europe alone. Every 3 minutes an allergic reaction sends someone to A&E, adding up to 200,000 visits per year. Allergic reactions come on within seconds and can kill within minutes. The seriousness of an allergy is deadly and no one knows how to treat the sufferers, that day by day feel like the victims. The top 8 allergens are milk, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, soy, wheat, fish and shellfish, these leave sufferers isolated in a lot of foods they can only dream to eat. Manufacturers don’t realise how when they add that peanut for an extra crunch they are taking away that child’s favourite food; let alone are they aware that cross contamination is seriously adding risk to a life threatening anaphylactic shock. Every day life is hard enough to someone who has to be ready to use their EpiPen at any given moment; adding these foolish ‘may contain’ labels is the most infuriating phrase for any sufferer to read. The severeness of allergies is unrecognised, in a world where this deadly word affects 1 in 13 children.

Restaurants are just another bully to put on the list towards allergy sufferers. It’s 2015 and the most common excuse in any place where you eat out is ‘we can’t guarantee it.’ You’d think by now they’d change the way chefs work so for once they are able cater for you. Any time that a family with an allergy sufferer go out, they are left in fear of whether the food will come out acceptable. What is meant to be an enjoyable night out, turns into a very anxious time for everyone. For example, once I asked for a dairy and egg free salad, which to me seems an easy enough task, to then be put face to face with a salad sprinkled with cheese was disgraceful after they said they were able to accommodate me. This struggle goes on every hour of every day for anyone with allergies; it’s disgusting how they’re made to feel isolated because of something they can’t help or change. Chefs should be trained to competently feed anyone with allergies. Not only does their shameful behaviour leave allergy sufferers remaining at risk, they lose many customers because of it. 

Even with an understanding family around these allergy sufferers, they are made to feel isolated on a daily basis because of the insensitivity when it comes to people around them. To some people it can seem as just a bit of a laugh when they joke around about allergies but unknown to them it feels as a threat to the one suffering. People are oblivious to what anaphylaxis is, when in reality 20% of people who go into anaphylactic shock get their lives snatched cruelly away from them. Not only are allergies not made recognisable; people don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing an allergic reaction, this is because they have never been taught that an EpiPen could save their life; let alone how to inject one.

Everyone with allergies will understand the annoyance when I say ‘intolerance’, yet again another word which is seen as more important. People assume intolerances are the same, if not worse than allergies; however they are not deadly in the slightest. It should be a well known fact that intolerances can only make you sick when allergies can shut down each and every organ. Intolerances are not annoying until the person makes a massive, unneeded deal about them; yes they make you feel ill but at no possible point can they kill you. There’s a massive difference between allergies and intolerances and the way they are treated you’d think they were the same. There is nothing worse in this world than when people make out they’re life threatening, they might aswell be laughing in the face of those who suffer with allergies. No one understands the annoyance that occurs when after they say that they go on to eat the so called fatal ingredient and finish it with ‘it’ll only make me a bit ill, it’s worth it.’ People with allergies can only dream of being able to say that after indulging in something they’ve always wanted to try. 

Allergies. One word. That’s all it takes to kill someone. EpiPen. One word. That’s all it takes to save someone. Why isn’t everyone aware?

Thankyou!

Abigail J

x x x

Posted in anxiety

Anxiety struggles of a teenage girl..

Hola (take four) Amigos!

I can’t believe that I’ve already rambled on at you four times, but that’s the point of a blog after all, right? First of all, I want to start this blog off with the biggest thank you ever! Obviously, as I knew from the start, that this blog wouldn’t become popular quick, but I didn’t expect it to become as popular as it has become in the limited time. So thanks to all you lovely lot for your likes, comments and emails to me, they’ve all been so very supportive and made me want to continue, so thank you, it honestly means the world! (And of course where possible please continue to spread the word.)

Anyway, after blogging a page each on Allergies and Autism, I guess its time to move onto the last of my ‘Triple A’s’, which is, Anxiety. I’m hoping many will relate to this one, because I know how PDA brings high anxiety levels, I know how Allergies bring high anxiety levels and because I know how many people in this world struggle with Anxiety alone.

It’s a hard topic to write about because there’s so many different ways that different people struggle with but feel free to either leave a comment or send me an email if you’d like me to talk, post or help you the very best I can with a specific type.

My main fear has to be standing out, it always has been, since I can remember I’ve always wanted to be in the corner of the room, never, ever, ever, the centre. It’s part of my PDA and I’m aware of that but with so many things edging me towards being in the spotlight, it gets increasingly harder to stay out of it. With Autism and Allergies that I try to hide, it’s almost like I was born to stand out and more than anything I’ve always wanted to hide away, to just be accepted but not made a big deal out of.

With my allergies I struggle big time to fit in, not necessarily saying I stand out like a sore thumb, but I’m definitely asked a 100 questions with each teacher I have or each friend I make. Taking catering for a GCSE seemed like such a great idea, when my only goal was to have a business making dairy and egg free cakes, cookies, etc. But the whole exam process and the thousands of different teachers my class has had has stressed me out that much, I’ve slowly lost my passion for baking and that’s something I never thought I’d do. With that, means a change of future plan, no longer do I want to study cooking in college, I now want to go to sixth form and study Psychology. Anyway, although I regret taking catering at GCSE level, I don’t regret the challenge of making myself known, the challenge of walking down the school with the biggest brief case ever, making me stand out, which carried all my equipment in, the challenge of all the questions I was asked and all the questions I felt like I had to answer. But mostly, I’m happy I put up the fight to do catering because that means somewhere down the line someone with allergies will be more easily accepted into the catering GCSE at my school and that means I’ve helped someone majorly. I’ve mostly struggled with the immaturity that my year (year 11) has, once I was in a lesson when they started throwing eggs, yep 15 and 16 year olds throwing eggs and I didn’t know what to do, because I was too anxious to leave the room yet my life was in danger, because it’s not just a joke or an exaggeration or an intolerance, that ingredient could simply take my life away in a second, and all I could do was freeze. That’s when my anxiety hits me the most, when I know I have to get out of a potentially life-threatening situation and yet all I can do is stand, when my legs won’t move and I just stare into space, that’s when I know my anxiety is too out of control, and putting me into danger.

Again with my allergies I have the struggle of socialising, when in this day and age people are going on about ‘a cheeky nandos with the lads’ now that seems great..but cheeky is an understatement when that sauce could take away my life. But do I want to seem boring and not go? No, of course I don’t..But again I’m stuck in this cycle. The thing that annoys me the most, the absolute most about my allergies is when someone finds a joke about it. They think it’s hilarious to offer me chocolate because that has milk in and it’s hysterical that one ingredient could slowly shut down my organs, so funny isn’t it?!?! But how can they know the reality of anaphylactic shock when I’m too nervous to tell them, when they’re shoving a Toblerone in my face and I physically can’t do anything but inside I’m fully aware of the fact my life could be snatched away from this bit of ‘harmless banter’ but I’m full of too much anxiety to speak up and tell them how much of a problem it is.

Another side of my anxiety comes of course with my Autism, the fight inside my brain to stay unknown when my heads telling me to do the opposite. The thought of standing out terrifies me, and sends shivers up my spine, as I am fully able to picture what my whole school would think of me if I let this dirty secret out. But is it a dirty secret? Is Autism that can’t be helped a dirty secret? No, of course it’s not, but it’s seen this way to too many people, and that shows how wrong the stigma is, how wrong the world is. ‘Role play’ is something I spoke about in my previous blog and how for me, personally, I couldn’t think of anything worse than standing up while people watched me pretending to be something that I’m not. Drama, is and never has been one for me. People telling me what to do, no matter what it’s about, no matter how nicely they ask, brings on high levels of anxiety and I cannot control it, and I think, psychologically, that’s why it scares me the most. Because I’m unable to stop myself from feeling this amount of pressure after one silly, easy, everyday, command.

Presentations. Even that word makes me shiver and straight away I can feel signs such as palms sweating, butterflies in full action in my stomach and feeling physically sick. That one word in lesson is all it takes to change me into an absolute meltdown, but I can’t let others know can I? So I hold it all in, waiting to get home so I can just cry it all out. The worst thing is? I know what every single friend will say..and I also know if you struggle with this you’ll know it too..”The more you do it, the more you won’t mind it” No matter how many times I hear this phrase it never stops me getting any less angry. Because for me who suffers with social anxiety, it’s not just as easy as practice, if it was that easy I’d be a little nervous, like you. Not completely melting down inside because there’s no way in hells earth I can stand at the front and talk to 30 goggling eyes.

It’s not even just that that makes me feel sick inside. It’s simple things. Everyday tasks. That ‘normal’ people don’t think twice about. It’s going to pay at a till. It’s going to order something at a fast food place. It’s going to talk to an old friend. All those simple, laughable things that terrify me. Checking twenty times that I’ve got the right amount of money before paying, even though I’m certain that I have but I can’t help but doubt myself, thinking that suddenly I’m unable to count to £3.50, thinking that maybe they’ll think this £1 is fake, that I’ll get into trouble, that something will go wrong. But will it? No of course it won’t. Ordering a McDonalds surely can’t go wrong? If you order the wrong thing you just correct yourself, right? Of course. But why doesn’t my brain know and understand that everything is going to be okay.

This blog is a long one and it’s still only covered a certain few anxieties but I do hope someone out there has read it and for once felt like they weren’t alone because they knew exactly what I was on about. If it did please like, comment or share to anyone that might appreciate the help, or even just the thought of a friend understanding. Also please feel free to email me (absbh101@gmail.com) The emails I’ve got so far have all been so supportive and I thank every single one of you, again!

Thankyou!

Abigail J

x x x

 

Posted in Autsim

PDA and no I do not mean public display of affection..

Hola (take three) Amigos!

PDA. Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome. If you don’t have it, or aren’t a carer of someone who has, chances are you won’t have heard of it. Chances are the only PDA you’re aware of is public display of affection. Chances are you still don’t have a single clue what it is.

For those who do, I hope this blog helps because it’s took me a long time to feel comfortable with my diagnosis and although I’m still not confident with it, I’m confident enough to write about it almost anonymously in the hope someone out there understands and I’m praying if you do, please feel free to email me on absbh101@gmail.com because without you lot, I will have a long, boring and most of all, pointless blog.

I never realised, obviously because I’ve never tried, quite how hard it is to explain to someone in words what PDA is and how I, as an individual, struggle with it. I’ve heard many anecdotes of when I was a child and mum found it easiest by making games with me rather than saying simple demands such as ‘put your shoes on’ ‘brush your teeth’ seems weird to those of you who don’t understand right? How a command that you hear every single day affected me as a child so much that I’d refuse to function when being told what to do. Also makes me sound like a spoilt brat, but I promise you it’s not like that. The technical way to explain this is we have high anxiety when we feel we are not in control, and although this is the main way to sum up this whole condition, full of many wacky and wonderful things, I still don’t feel like this is it for me. I still don’t feel that I need to be in control to avoid having high anxiety. Am I the only one? Please teenagers with PDA speak up because I’m not sure how to get these words out of my mouth.

My high anxiety is due to my PDA and I’m fully aware of that. However, I’m never one to be in control, in groups at school I’d prefer to be told what to do, rather than tell others what to do. Another aspect which confuses me? Like many whom struggle with this, they like to do role play, to investigate the side of a character and imagine being them instead. Me? I’m not like that. At all. And drama? I can’t remember a time I ever, ever liked that, it was that bad that during my high school years I was taken out of the lesson and instead spent my free time in the library. Which I also hated, because standing out? Another thing I absolutely despise.

Unlike other diagnosis in the Autism Spectrum, those with PDA find it easier to socialise and I’m fortunate enough to agree with this. Although it was an area that I once highly struggled in, and my parents would practically push me out the doors on weekends to try and get me to make some plans, I just couldn’t. But now? My parents practically try to pull me back in from my suddenly formed crazy social life. Now, I’m certainly not saying I’m out partying every weekend but now with a stable group of friends, and a boyfriend (that yes guys, honestly you can get a partner, don’t tell yourself otherwise) I am able to enjoy myself while in town or at someones house with them. I feel that comfortable that I spent New Years Eve with them this year, and although I wasn’t keen on celebrating it without my Mum, after a phone call at 12am, it was one of the best nights ever.

I know what you lot with PDA are all asking yourselves now. How did she tell her closest friends and her boyfriend about PDA when it seems like the most embarrassing thing in the world? And in all honesty, to answer this question, I haven’t. As much as I wish I could be open about my Autism, I struggle to become one of those people and to any who are open about it, I admire the courage it must’ve taken. Do I feel bad for not telling them? No not really, why should I? It doesn’t mean I’m a different person and I’d tell my boyfriend if I thought we were proper serious after a while of going out with him. But for now? I honestly have no thought of telling him. What would you do if you were in this situation guys? I do feel guilty at times, I guess. But in the long term, what difference does it make?

I’ve gone on a lot about me in this blog on PDA but it felt good to finally get it out in the open, even anonymously, it helps loads just to type my feelings and experiences down. If you don’t struggle with PDA then I am amazed you’ve read on about my weird life for this long, but thank you! However to those who do, feel free to drop me an email on absbh101@gmail.com, I promise you’ll stay anonymous and even if you just want to talk, I’m here for that, or also feel free to comment and share your views. Obviously we all struggle with different aspects of PDA as individuals, but if you relate to any of the things I have mentioned, please somehow let me know. I know this blog will be a slow starter because there’s not many of us PDA ones around, well maybe there is, but it doesn’t feel like it does it? Please share this to anyone you think it could help, even in the slightest.

And remember, we’re all in this together. (Cue high school musical)

Thankyou!

Abigail J

x x x

Posted in Allergies

Allergies, Allergies, Allergies..

Hola (take two) Amigos!

Yes, it’s been a mild, boring 24 hours since I last posted but in the many pages of research I’ve read into before starting this blog, the way to get recognised is write, write and (guess what?) write!

Today, I’m going to base this on the allergies side of me, so for all you who suffer in silent, afraid to stand out because of something you can’t help, this post is for you.

Dealing with allergies as a teenager I am confidently sure this is the hardest stage of your allergy life…No longer do you have your parents running around after you making sure you don’t cram any new, interesting food into your mouth, no longer are you with the same old group of friends that know your allergies off the back of their hand, no longer are you in one school in one classroom with one teacher who has been continuously threatened by your mum to keep you safe. No longer do any of these things happen. Suddenly, you’re the thrown into the big, scary world of socialising and partying while trying to find a bag or pocket big enough to fit your EpiPen in, without the socially awkward panic of looking weird. If you have ever felt this way then please preach it, know that you’re not alone and Allergy Aunt Abbi is here to try and save the day…or your life atleast (and yes I am proud of that alliteration.)

Those awkward high school days when your ever-changing group of friends all bring in food to ‘share’ because that’ll be ‘fun’ won’t it? Nope, not for the kid with allergies in the corner, who has to shyly refuse a food that you and I both know they dream to have. But don’t, I repeat, do not, make yourself unknown, with allergies you are still able to conquer the world even if you have to avoid that peanut on the way. I appreciate no teenager is a fan of telling anyone that they have allergies in a judgemental society where everyone is just trying to fit in..but you won’t fit in at all if your face has bloomed out from a food that has you into anaphylactic shock in seconds. Please, I beg you, tell one person, atleast one, make them aware of the real danger you can face in this situation, please don’t sit there too anxious to speak up, because in the reality of the world, most people do understand.

As someone who suffers from anaphylaxis but still took a catering GCSE after a lot of fight in my school cooking department, I hope one day this fight feels no longer necessary. That discrimination against allergy sufferers stop because after all…

Allergies. One word. That’s all it takes to kill someone. EpiPen. One word. That’s all it takes to save someone. Why isn’t everyone aware?

Thankyou!

Abigail J

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